Dizstressed
All I wanted to do was put a fucking post on my blog. And somehow Google has fucked up the login. The last two times I've tried to log in, it tells me I have a wrong password. The only way in is to reset it each time.
It just makes me cranky. Blogger was just fine until Google came along and started messing with it.
Anyway, what I wanted to post was a question to all my e-friends who have significant others and/or long term relationships.
How many times do you have to explain when something is really important to you before they get it? At what point do you give up and how do you not let it threaten your relationship?
I love my boyfriend very much, but this is something I've been struggling with since the beginning. I've explained several times that it's really important to me, but...
And I don't want it to damage the relationship, but I can't help it from hurting my feelings a little more each time.
Is it me? Am I asking too much? If so, how do I let this go and move on?
It just makes me cranky. Blogger was just fine until Google came along and started messing with it.
Anyway, what I wanted to post was a question to all my e-friends who have significant others and/or long term relationships.
How many times do you have to explain when something is really important to you before they get it? At what point do you give up and how do you not let it threaten your relationship?
I love my boyfriend very much, but this is something I've been struggling with since the beginning. I've explained several times that it's really important to me, but...
And I don't want it to damage the relationship, but I can't help it from hurting my feelings a little more each time.
Is it me? Am I asking too much? If so, how do I let this go and move on?
posted by Nezbitt at
10:52 p.m.
8 Comments:
This sounds like something best discussed live in concert, dollface. Wanna come over for a cuppa tea and a chat? Or call me, even.
Sending you all the love.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
By
Gaia, at 10:02 a.m.
I agree with skrifa. This is something that should probably be talked about in person. Why don't you give me a call, and we'll chat?
T
By
Momma Trish, at 8:19 p.m.
Are we still on for shoppings on Saturday? We could hash it then, if you haven't hashed it wit' da boy already.
If we are on for shoppings--Old Navy (and mebbie Value Village?) here we come!
By
Morgan Smith, at 12:42 p.m.
I may have neither a significant other nor a long-term relationship, but I have tons of experience in the "doing things that piss off women" department. So if that perspective will help, drop by the House of Style and we'll chat. Even if it won't, drop by and chat; an old man gets lonely sometimes. :)
Cheers!
Brent
By
Anonymous, at 2:35 p.m.
I echo everyone here (especially Brent; oh I can piss off the ladies like nobody's business). But since you haven't actually recieved an attempt at an answer, my answers to the two questions:
How many times do you have to explain when something is really important to you before they get it?
As many times as it takes.
At what point do you give up and how do you not let it threaten your relationship?
If it's really important? Never.
Seriously, though, this needs to be talked through. If you haven't gotten sick of all those people, you can try me. Or, we can try seeing movies, now that I don't need a lift to come visit. Up to you.
By
The Doc, at 8:45 p.m.
Of course it really depends on what the specific issue is.
If you want the scriptural answer, Peter asked Jesus how often he should forgive, seven times? And Jesus answered that he should forgive not seven times, but seventy times seven.
Nevertheless, forgiveness does not mean letting behaviour that causes you pain continue.
From what you have said it sounds like the problem is communicating just how important this issue is to you. Sometimes it takes a lot of hammering to get something through a man's thick skull.
Feel free to call me any time to chat, or come by for coffee.
By
Anonymous, at 7:26 p.m.
I would recommend tlaking to any of those people. My advice would, naturally, be completely unhelpful, as the longest relationship I've ever had is seven months.
Besides, you already know most of the advice I would give you, anyway. don't forget, however, that even though relationship have always been about "us," it's still made up of a "you" and "me," and sometimes, those two need to talk more.
Or more hitting. Or the kicking of many shins. In fact, the dreaded Kicking of the Many Shins is a great technique to use when you need to get and keep someone's attention. It doesn't work so much when the relationship's a polyamorous one or a sick, pervy, twisted one (like you, a 1983 Toyota Tercel, and a lemon meringue pie), but always remember the kicking and the hitting. They solve most everything.
And unlike everyone else here, I'm a selfish manly-man who believes in his own infallibility and ENORMOUS PENIS. Also, I can fly.
By
the Worst Ninja Ever, at 11:14 p.m.
Sometimes it can also be a question of the right timing. Let me share a funny story.
P bought this cutlery set a IKEA. I don't like it. I had mentioned to him several times that I don't like that cutlery, I find it clunky. None of the times I told him this did it ever sink into his head.
So, a couple of weeks ago we were at IKEA and he picked up a box of that same cutlery and said, "We should get some more of this cutlery." I looked him straight in the eye and said emphatically, "I hate that cutlery. I have always hated that cutlery. Especially the forks. I like long, thin tines!"
He laughed his ass off, but now he will never forget that I like forks with long, thin tines.
This is a pretty trivial example, but the point is that sometimes things have to be said at the right time for them to sink in.
By
Anonymous, at 10:47 a.m.
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